VOTE MONTY! YES, WE CAT!

2nd April 2019

Well hello, Pussypots. Fabulous February has given way to windy March and change is in the air. My friend Bruce, a very fine Persian blue, says that our Prime Minister Teaser Maybot is in doggy’s doo-doo up to her twin-set and whiskers – which is no place for the Top Cat.  And, by the time…

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Toupees, Slug-pellets and Monkey-Puzzles! It’s Spring!

2nd April 2019

Well, well pussypots. February already, and the wild winds are howling and shrieking about us, here at the Artful Dodger pub. It is fur-flyingly freezing, the rain is like icy stair-rods, and the hurricane blew Fagin’s toupee into the Monkey Puzzle tree across the car park. Oh, how we giggled – even Nancy! Fagin’s head…

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Happy New Year – Xīnnián kuàilè – Pussypots!

31st January 2019

Xīnnián kuàilè – Pussypots! Happy Mew Year, Pussypots! My friend Bruce, a very fine Persian Blue, bought me a lovely present for Pussmass. A gorgeous three piece suit in blue stripey fabric – so summery, with a lovely waistcoat and a special little pocket for my ‘Tracker’ fob watch. I feel it’s summer already, darlings….

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Royal Wedding

18th October 2018

Most people assume that cats are not avid purrrusers of the media, but here in the Artful Dodger, there is little more relaxing than laying in the netting above the bar with my friend Bruce – a very fine Persian Blue – and watching a little high class drama on Catflix or Mewtube. All this…

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Purrrfection

18th October 2018

Well. Hello. I have been purrrrusing the strange behaviour of humans on the beach, now that the sun has finally decided to beam down upon my magnificent tortoiseshell tresses. As you may expect, like most cats, I avoid getting my fur wet, and generally regard swimming and bathing as spectator sports. I prefer to lick…

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Purr Island

18th October 2018

And so to Purrr Island. A wonderful little excursion withy my friend Bruce – a very fine Persian Blue. Such fun! Nancy, the landlord’s wife at the Artful Dodger Inn, packed our little rucksacks with potted shrimps and bottle of milk, and we donned our little peaked caps. “There we are boys. You look lovely!”…

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Bottling Biscuits!

18th October 2018

My friend, Bruce, a very fine Persian Blue, and I were laying in the netting above the bar in the Artful Dodger, watching television. You humans seem completely preoccupied with something called ‘Biscuit’. We were watching a huge blonde-haired, blue-eyed, Abyssinian tomcat called Boris. He was up on his hind-quarters, waving his arms, and banging…

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Lazarus, the Spider

18th October 2018

As I lay on the hearthrug here at the Artful Dodger with my companion Bruce, a very fine Persian Blue, one has time to ponder many things. Take my dear friend, Lazarus, for example. He is a Tegenaria Parietina spider or ‘Cardinal’ – the species earned this distinguished moniker by scaring the noble pants off…

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"Brilliant descriptions of characters and places enrich a twisty plot that kept me guessing right to the end. John Simes is a master story teller."James Stevenson, Author