Well hello, Pusspots! April has sprung upon us with exuberant fragrances of primroses, bluebells and wild garlic. My friend Bruce – a very fine Persian Blue – and I padded the flower strewn footpath from St. Anne’s Chapel, via the twittering woodland, across the tumbling stream that flows down the valley all the way to lovely Challaborough. Now you must pronounce it correctly darlings by emphasising the second syllable ChallAborough. Sounds so much more attractive, don’t you think? We strolled through the jolly caravans and watched the men shovelling sand back on to the beach that the wind had blown in. There was a strange man in a tractor who driving up and down ‘ploughing’ the sand – perhaps he is going to plant potatoes! Someone needs to have a quiet word….

Meanwhile, Our Top Cat Bozza Johnson has issued some government advice:

NOTICE TO CATS: In the coming weeks it’s likely that your humans will be spending more time in the house. While this is obviously inconvenient, I estimate distribution of treats could increase significantly (we await modelling on stroking).

Bruce and I realise that this is a very difficult time with the nasty COVID virus. Now, it is quite clear that cats and dogs – even Rusty – cannot pass on this horrid illness to people. All of which means that the PURRRFECT companion for anyone who is self-isolating is, of course, A CAT! Yes! Isn’t that marvellous?

Now Bruce and I have had a long conversation and feel that we must do our bit at this troubling time. We are therefore offering to be the isolation partner to anyone over the age of seventy! Yes! How about that! Yes, let us come to your home and we can sleep the days away together. Bruce and I can lay on your bed and keep it warm for you. What fun it will be for you to feed us and give us the odd treat. Bruce and I do like to go out for a stroll in the evening, but you can just carry on watching all those repeats of Heartbeat and Call the Midwife or that funny little Dog Whisperer chappie (Rusty should give those a try!).

Bozza has also told everyone to wash their hands while singing Happy Birthday! How funny! Fancy only washing your hands once a year! Our landlord, at The Artful Dodger pub, sang the entire middle section of Bohemian Rhapsody when washing his hands. Suddenly people started running out of the pub. It sounded as if someone was standing on Bruce’s tail!

Of course, hand-washing is not a problem for pussies! Ah, the benefits of cat-lick! Did you know that when cats lick you, it can mean that they are attempting to teach you to groom yourself properly and keep clean!  It’s a memory your cat has from being licked by its own mother. It’s also a sign of real affection. Cats will also lick each other as a way to enhance relaxation. You humans should include as part of Yoga and Pilates classes!

Cat saliva contains enzymes that turn it into a natural antibiotic. If your cat licks a wound, it may be guarding against infection. These enzymes prevent infection and promote healing. They also assist in cooling the body in warm weather, distributing oils throughout the coat to keep it supple and healthy, and stimulate blood flow. That is why Bruce and I are so gorgeous! Ha! Ha!

And, darlings, there is something deeply comforting about hanging out with a sleeping cat. Don’t you think so, Rusty?


well and safe Pusspots!

"Brilliant descriptions of characters and places enrich a twisty plot that kept me guessing right to the end. John Simes is a master story teller."James Stevenson, Author