Well hello, Pussypots. Fabulous February has given way to windy March and change is in the air. My friend Bruce, a very fine Persian blue, says that our Prime Minister Teaser Maybot is in doggy’s doo-doo up to her twin-set and whiskers – which is no place for the Top Cat. And, by the time you read this, this funny BREXIT business may all be over, and Jeremy Catflap sworn is as our new chief moggie.
So, dear friends, it is time to take a stand! I am in receipt of a missive from one Rusty – a canine of this parish – calling upon me to join him in somewhere called ‘purdah’ and to stand in the forthcoming Council elections. Dogs are such dear, sweet, hopeless creatures – endlessly seeking attention, banding together in packs and running around in circles. Dear friends, let me ask you seriously: do you really think a dog is capable of organising anything? Have you not noticed that cats cannot be ‘herded’ into packs, and that we do not spend our precious time wagging our tails ridiculously, or running around panting, with our tongues hanging out?
Cats are reflective creatures. We stand back from the fray and look upon the world with an intellectual detachment that is the envy of human beings – which explains why we are so respected and even worshipped. Cats, quite honestly, do not need to be ‘elected’ – as you humans put it. We are already in charge. Rusty, endearing little tail-wagger that he is, has simply not noticed.
However, to please our dear lovely, little, woofy friend, it gives me pleasure to accept Rusty’s challenge and present my manifesto for Feline Freedom and Prosperity for All within the Bigbury parish.
More next month, Pusspots! And remember:
VOTE MONTY! YES, WE CAT!
Which cat won…?
The English cat.
Because Un deux trois cat sank…
"Brilliant descriptions of characters and places enrich a twisty plot that kept me guessing right to the end. John Simes is a master story teller."James Stevenson, Author